For as much time as I spend thinking about the issues surrounding the autism spectrum, I focus almost as much on food and the environment.  This week, I came across a product that blew me away – produce from a company called Finger [...]]]>

Leafy Greens Hydroponics image by Ryan Somma

For as much time as I spend thinking about the issues surrounding the autism spectrum, I focus almost as much on food and the environment.  This week, I came across a product that blew me away – produce from a company called Finger Lakes Fresh, which is owned by Challenge Industries.  Finger Lakes Fresh uses hydroponics to grow produce,  like arugula, basil, and other greens, in nutrient-rich fluid instead of soil.  Their prices are reasonable, and the produce is delicious, but that’s not what struck me about this company.

Challenge Industries’ basic mission is to employ individuals “with disabilities and other employment barriers.”  So by supporting these companies, you also directly support Challenge’s efforts to show disabled adults that they are valued members of society.

I would encourage anyone who has a child with special needs and is concerned about eating quality food, to reinforce Challenge’s work.  Your child will one day enter the work force.  Send the powerful message, by way of where you choose to spend your dollars, that individuals with disabilities deserve to be allowed to contribute to society like anyone else.

*image from Wikimedia Commons under Creative Commons Attibution License.

** This post does not contain any affiliate links.

“But the moment you turn a corner you see another straight stretch ahead and there comes some further challenge to your ambition.”  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”  ~Albert Einstein

Gus, and many other people along the autism spectrum, perseverate.  This means [...]]]>

“But the moment you turn a corner you see another straight stretch ahead and there comes some further challenge to your ambition.”  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”  ~Albert Einstein

Gus, and many other people along the autism spectrum, perseverate.  This means that they will repeat a particular phrase, motion or behavior for, what might seem to an outsider,  no cause.  What I find interesting is that he easily perseverates, but perseverance comes so much harder.  So close and yet…

Over the past several weeks, Gus and MM have been running different races that we find through the Runners club.  Kids their age generally either run a mile or 1K (.6 mile).  I have to say, some of those mile runs are killers.  And for Gus, with his low muscle tone and endurance, it is beyond challenging.  He often wants to quit and I can hardly blame him.  Now add the fact that he is almost always in last place, far behind his little sister.  So why keep him doing it?

Simple: he has to learn.  Sticking with an idea that he is interested in is no great feat for him; however, his life is going to be chock full of things that are monumentally hard.  Most things are going to be hard for him, from making friends to managing whatever career he chooses.  Learning to stick with the things that he most wants to quit will help him a great deal as he grows.  It won’t hurt that running will also build up that endurance and will continue to build his focus.

The strategies that have worked best to keep him going have been:

• Constant, constant, constant encouragement – even when I am having trouble catching my own breath, it helps us both to keep up the litany of ‘you can do it’s.
• Not going it alone – wile Gus is probably okay to run some of these tracks alone, I think it helps, especially since he is often at the end of the pack, to have someone with him, even if it’s just for company.
  
• A sense of humor – Gus finds it highly amusing when I pretend to be a zombie chasing him.
• Shifting tactics – when zombie chasing stops motivating him, we switch to pretending to be Sonic the Hedgehog or some other character.  If that starts to lose power, we sing a song or start to build in some competition.  It’s always good to have a readied arsenal of motivating tricks to draw on, especially with someone whose focus changes so rapidly.
  
• Small steps – instead of focusing on the end markers, which we usually can’t see, we shoot for each turning flag.  When we reach one, we can shift our gaze to the next.
• Competition – Gus is nowhere near as competitive as his sister, yet even he hates to lose.  I tell him as long as he stays ahead of me, he’s not last.  When all else fails, I start to pull ahead a little and challenge him to pass me, and he does.

None of these are revolutionary ideas, and they apply to many people in many situations, but they bear repeating because sometimes we forget.

Every race sees him getting better and better at persevering through the miles.  One day I expect he’ll be able to do it without me on his heels – he’ll have his own internal motivator.   Then I can just wait for him at the finish line and cheer my head off with all the breath in me.  Until then, we keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Kid in the washing machine.

Why did I get up?

And amidst all this chaos (there’s been much more; those were just the two highlights) Gus just gives me the biggest grin.  I can’t help but laugh.

After brushing his teeth, he looks for a towel to dry his hands and [...]]]> Towel in toilet.

Kid in the washing machine.

Why did I get up?

And amidst all this chaos (there’s been much more; those were just the two highlights) Gus just gives me the biggest grin.  I can’t help but laugh.

After brushing his teeth, he looks for a towel to dry his hands and face.

“There’s no towel because you threw it in the toilet.”

“I dropped it in the toilet…Haven’t you ever heard of an accident?  Duh?”

So to sum up: breakfast was a big bowl of chaos with a side of snark.

Good morning!

*image from cksinfo.com

At present, it doesn’t much matter if he passes or fails these exams because as an IEP student, they don’t really count in his final grade or whether he continues to the next grade.  (They’re not [...]]]> This is the first year that Gus has to take state exams.  I’m curious to see how he does on them.

At present, it doesn’t much matter if he passes or fails these exams because as an IEP student, they don’t really count in his final grade or whether he continues to the next grade.  (They’re not supposed to be used as the final determinant for promotion for any child.)  However, his ability to take and pass the state exams may directly affect whether or not he can continue his education if he wants to.

It seems that the state education department is restructuring their requirements for high school graduation because the IEP diploma that disabled students were awarded, if they could not meet the Regents or general Local requirements, are not accepted by many universities or community colleges.  However, it is still unclear what the alternative requirements are going to look like.  And the requirements next year might be very different still from the requirement 5 or 6 years from now.

I have no doubt that if Gus can focus long enough on any exam, he can pass it with flying colors, but that’s a big IF on any given day.  If he has a bad day and can’t get through the tests, even with the accommodations, the image of his academic ability will be grossly flawed.  Yet there’s the very strong chance that he might be a good test-taker.  He was pretty excited and motivated about doing well, so that may be all the boost he needs to stay focused.  We’ll find out when the results come back.

*image from

Arianna Huffington, Editor-in-Chief, Huffington Post

I sometimes catch myself feeling that I am the only person, the only parent, who just never seems to ‘get [...]]]> “The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly – indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection.”

Arianna Huffington, Editor-in-Chief, Huffington Post

I sometimes catch myself feeling that I am the only person, the only parent, who just never seems to ‘get it right.’  That is, of course, a ridiculous, self-indulgent idea.  Just like it’s pretty silly to imagine I’m the only parent who has ever been too cross or too busy or too tired to be as good a parent as I aspire to be.  It would make better sense to wonder where that parent is who doesn’t second guess every other action,  reaction,  decision; who doesn’t beat herself (or himself) up for every screw-up because she doesn’t screw up.  In being the parent of a child with special needs, I think we tend to ramp the pressure up on ourselves even more.  After all, our kids have a hard enough time without us adding to the challenge.  Yet, I don’t recall receiving a Perfect Parent Handbook when Gus was born or when he was diagnosed.   Perfection is unattainable, and it’s important to learn to move on, because mistakes are inevitable.  Not only are they inevitable, but they are an essential aspect of the discovery process.  As the cinematographer Conrad Hall said, “There is a kind of beauty in imperfection.”

How ironic is it that I’d be the first person to advocate for acceptance of my autistic child with all his imperfections – he is who he is – but it’s damn near impossible for me to automatically extend that same concession to myself?  Now there’s an interesting nugget to chew on.

Do you find it hard to move past a mistake you’ve made with your child?

*image by Tony Wills used under Creative Commons Attribution Share-Alike License 3.0

We took Gus to see How to Train Your Dragon as part of his birthday weekend celebration.  We mixed up the times and ended up seeing the regular version instead of the 3D.  I’m glad we did!

First off, the movie was wonderful.  I mean, animation aside, it was [...]]]>

image from Dreamworks according to fair use rules.

We took Gus to see How to Train Your Dragon as part of his birthday weekend celebration.  We mixed up the times and ended up seeing the regular version instead of the 3D.  I’m glad we did!

First off, the movie was wonderful.  I mean, animation aside, it was just a well-crafted, age-appropriate, fun story.  It didn’t shy away from tension or realism (as much as you can get with Vikings and dragons), but didn’t scare the pants off my kids either.  The humor wasn’t obnoxious, which I greatly appreciated.  I found it enjoyable from an adult perspective as well; at points I was even nervous about the fate of the characters.  All that being said, I’m glad we didn’t watch it in 3D.

Gus and MM enjoyed the movie greatly, but I noticed that, since we did not see one of the Autism Society’s sensory-friendly films, he had a tougher time than the past few movies we’ve gone to.  He got a little overstimulated between the action scenes and the noise – onscreen and in the theater.  He wasn’t pushed over the edge and never seemed to want to leave (he was done with Cars 15 minutes in), but he did have a hard time keeping his behavior under control by the time we left.  I think 3D would have had him reeling.

Some of my favorite elements:

• the misfit, brainy hero, who reminded us of DH’s college roommate, who also happens to be a great lover of dragon-lore.
• the human encyclopedia Viking kid, who could have been Gus.
• the strong female lead, who MM thought was “cute.”
• the Night Fury, who reminded me so much of our cat it was scary.
• the Viking dad because I KNEW that was Gerard Butler from his first line.

All in all, I enthusiastically recommend this movie.  It was great fun, and if you have any opinions to share about it, I’d love to read your comments!  Have a great day!